Revealing Rebecca S...

The sure signs of a wasted childhood:

Q. How can you tell if there’s an elephant in your fridge?
A. Footprints in the butter.

Q. How does an elephant hide in a cherry tree?
A. It paints its toenails red.

Q. Why did the elephant paint the soles of its feet yellow?
A. So it could swim upside-down in custard.

Q. How many giraffes can you fit in a mini?
A. Four. Two in the front, and two in the back.

Q. How many elephants can you fit in a mini?
A. None. It’s already full of giraffes.

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No idea.

Q. What do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?
A. Still no idea.

Q. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A. Fsh.

Q. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A. A stick.

Q. What's brown and sticky?
A. A stick.

Q. What's pink and fluffy?
A. Pink fluff.

Q. What's purple and fluffy?
A. Pink fluff holding its breath.

Q. What's green and goes up and down?
A. A gooseberry in a lift.

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

‘Twas in the month of Liverpool,
The city of July.
The streets were raining heavily,
And the snow was very dry.

The elephant is a silly bird,
It flits from bow to bow.
It makes its nest in a rhubarb tree,
And whistles like a cow.

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